Time Means Nothing
by Giver
Summary: In Harry's 3rd yr., Halloween night, Sirius sneaks in to finish Peter Pettigrew. A twist: Sirius's life depends on a man who's hated him for years (p.s., its not snape!) doesn't diviate from JKR's version, but tells a v. different story. *Complete*
1. Sirius's POV

Disclaimer/Notes: I don't own the Harry Potter characters. Sirius's POV during Harry's third year.  
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I was feeling quite nostalgic as I prowled through the empy corriders of Hogwarts. It really was too bad that I couldn't linger for very long. My mind wandered as I passed the spot where James and I had once set off five dungbombs at once. The good ole days. Far gone into the past now...  
Here was my problem. I stopped short infront of the Fat Lady. I wondered if she'd heard the gossip about me. Of course she had; even the ghosts and paintings knew, no, *thought* they knew, how the Potters had been betrayed. I would have to lie to her.  
"Oh, oh thank goodness," I huffed as I ran to the painting, waking the old woman up.  
"What? What are you children doing back from the feast so early?" she yawned.  
"Sorry, Ma'am, but I'm not a student. I have to get in right away, orders from Dumbledore."  
"Not a problem, dear," she said. "Password, please?"  
"Well, that's the problem," I continued, hoping my trick would work. "I don't have the password."  
"Well, surely Dumbledore would have given it to you," she said slowly. "Wait a minute....don't I recognize you from somewhere?"  
I silently cursed. "No. I'm sorry, but this is very important. I HAVE to enter. Now."  
The Fat Lady's eyes bulged. "Yes, yes I *do* remember you. You're...you're..." She screamed. "SIRIUS BLACK!"  
I shushed her. "Look, I didn't kill anyone. I need to prove my innocence, just please LET ME IN!"  
"No! Oh, help, help!"  
I pulled my knife out of my boot. "Fine, but I'm getting in one way or another." ~bloody fine way to prove your innocence~ I thought. I made a small rip at the bottom of the painting. The Fat Lady screamed again. "Shut up, or there won't be a restoration process in the world to fix you," I hissed. It's been too long to let anything stand in my way now. Peter was going to die tonight; I was so sure of it. "Now, LET ME IN!"  
"No!"  
My mind was made up. I slashed wildly at the painting, not caring whether I hit her or not. The thought of that rat, that vermin, being so close to Harry made my blood boil. All I could think about was transforming him, putting my hands around his neck, and listening to his bones crunch as I killed him. I could practically hear them now....snap...snap...snap...I *could* hear them. I stopped to listen, not bothering to notice that the Fat Lady had left her portrait. click...click...click...footsteps coming down the hallway. The door to Griffyndor was still shut. I'd deal with it later. Right now, I had to run. My life, not to mention Harry's, depended on the small hope that I wouldn't be caught. It would do no good to transform into a dog now, my paws, my padded foot, would slip on the slick floor. I sprinted in the opposite direction of the approachers. I didn't have to worry about the sound of my shoes, for I had none. 


	2. Dumbledore's POV

Disclaimer/Notes: I still don't own Harry Potter. This chapter is from Dumbledore's POV. It's still Halloween night, Harry's third year.  
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It had been a lovely feast, simply smashing. Of course, Severus's predictable mood had been foul, but I've learned to deal with that. Every party needs a pooper....  
When I stepped outside the Great Hall for a breath of fresh air, I wasn't surprised to see Percy Weasley dashing towards me, looking as though the sky was about to fall. His anxieties were usually no more than a dung bomb being set off. I should have realized that these are the days to take things more seriously, with Black on the loose...  
"What great transgression has occurred now, Percy?" I asked, full of mirth. Mr. Weasley, however, was not.  
He sweated and stammered for a moment before he could speak the words. "Sir, the Fat Lady has been attacked."  
I ran quite quickly for a man my age. Most of the Griffyndors had gathered around the entrance by the time I had arrived, but I squeezed past them towards the abandoned painting. I was shocked to see that it had not only been attacked, but ravaged. The mirth of Halloween died away to give way to the holiday's other aspect. But I would not let myself go as far as fear, I stopped at concealed apprehension. Fear is something that no one would imagine Albus Dumbledore to feel. And why should I be afraid? After all my years, I had certainly come across worse things than a mangled piece of art! There was some gut feeling, maybe because of the holiday, but more likely because that night was James's and Lily's anniversary, their death day, that made me wary of the situation.  
When I turned around, I saw Severus, Minerva, and Remus hurrying towards me. Although I didn't dawdle on the thought, I saw that Remus was red around the eyes. Although he had been having a good time at the feast, he had excused himself early, and now he was red in his eyes. I supposed that it being the Potters' anniversary had something to do with it, perhaps his dear old friends had lingered on his mind tonight also. Time means nothing to loss....  
Snape and Minerva had both adopted a stern, stoic look that a teacher can have a habit of wearing, but Minerva didn't fool me. I could see the worry in her face. She was speculating the same things I was.  
Peeves was talking to me. I listened carefully to him, because he had not teased me since I was a student here. The words I had feared he'd say were said. "Nasty temper he's got, that Sirius Black."  
I knew it. My eyes flickered over the crowd, and I was relieved when they settled on Harry, perfectly safe and unscathed. His green eyes were opened wide with shock. I turned to face my colleagues. Minerva's stern teacher-face had melted into appall and alarm. Severus's eyes had been lit by some inner fire; I could see clearly the way he burned with rage. Remus....Remus was unreadable. He was in another place, another time. I would not be surprised if he was terrified, for everyone knows he was next on Black's list, but I also would not be surprised to find not a scrap of fear in him. I directed the students down to the Great Hall, where I set up camp for them because they would stay the night there. The teachers I took with me into my office. 


	3. Sirius's POV Again

Disclaimer/Notes: I don't own these characters. Sirius's POV.  
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I didn't know where I was running, I was just praying to whatever god that had not forsaken me in the past twelve years that the corridor would remain empty. Suddenly, with a jolt of realization, I knew where I was. I was in front of the DADA office. Remus's office.  
Unlocked. The door was unlocked. Tonight was turning out to be a very lucky night, despite that I had botched the job of killing Peter. Oh well, that would be dealt with later. At least I'd be keeping the little rat on his toes.  
I strolled quickly through the office, not really preoccupied with what was there. The door at the back of the office, like in every teacher's office, lead to his private quarters. This was my interest.  
I was lucky again with another unlocked door. I shut it behind me and spoke the words that turned on the lights. I felt a shiver of relief run through my veins. Remus wasn't home. He was probably out looking for me - looking to kill. I had considered it before, but a thought streaked through my mind like lightening does in the sky. I wondered if Remus was afraid of me. I wondered if Harry was afraid of me. The two people I loved most, thinking I was going to kill them... I could not linger on these thoughts now. I walked quickly through the cozy rooms, decorated mostly in dark and pale blue. I reached the kitchen and contemplated my options. If I took any food, Remus would know I had been there. But, I could eat quickly and leave with more energy. Then again, Remus had never been wealthy, and I'd feel bad about stealing from him. On the other hand, I was starving. And innocent. And starving. I helped myself to most of the things I could find in the kitchen. He could eat in the Great Hall, where food was never in short supply. He wouldn't mind if he knew I was innocent. And starving.  
After that I made my way to the bathroom. I wondered who the man in the mirror was. I hadn't brushed my teeth in only God knows how long. I hoped Remus didn't mind me using his tooth brush. It's nothing I'd never done before. Then again, I wasn't a convict before. The brushing barely made a dent, but I felt better. I knew a shower was out of the option (something I'd been denied for a very long time), but I ran the water over my head and cleaned myself off the best I could. After all, I probably wouldn't be living indoors for a very long time.  
I took a moment to sit down on a cozy couch in the front room. My joints ached and burned, but that was usual. It felt so strange to be here, but the foreign concept of it didn't seem to penetrate my brain. The flickering of the dying fire in front of me soothed me into deep thought. It was then that I realized what I would do. I would stay here until Remus got back, and I would have to make him listen to me. I had no wand, what could I do? Could I hide, or would he search for me even in here? I would hide until he went to sleep and use his own wand against him, put him in a body bind. Then he would have to listen and realize the truth. He could help me get Peter. Yes. I lied down on my back, sinking into the couch. Victory began to play with my mind, working with the gentle fire and the weariness of my bones, I felt my eyelids droop. I was asleep before I knew what was happening. 


	4. Lupin's POV

Disclaimer/Notes: I don't own Harry Potter. This chapter is from Lupin's POV, starting with the beginning of the evening.  
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It's interesting what happens when you spend most of your day putting off your emotions. From the moment I woke up, a dull ache had invaded me when I remembered what today was. It was James's and Lily's anniversary. Probably the worst day of the year. After all, I hadn't just lost two friends, I'd lost four. And not to mention not seeing little Harry again until this year. Time means nothing to loss..... Not only that, but since the sky had blossomed into night, the nearly full moon had invaded me and was toying with my mind. It was turning out to be quite the stressful evening by the time the Halloween feast had rolled around. I had been planning to stay in my quarters that night, but then I remembered the feasts from my youth, and the lure of all that delicious food and atmosphere won me over. As long as I stayed away from the meat, and more importantly the memories of my friends, I would be fine.   
  
Then again, I never was much of a seer.  
  
I was having a terrific evening. The wolfsbane had done wonders in calming my wolfish instincts, and I had gotten into a friendly debate with Professor Flitwick about the dementors guarding Azkaban. All was going well until he mentioned Sirius Black. That name has a habit of stinging my ears when I heard it. It still has an undertone of "friend" to it. I let the conversation sway for a moment and then excused myself.  
I found myself wandering about the castle. I could feel the cold air through the many small holes of my robes, but it couldn't compare to the chill I felt inside. I was embarressed when I felt hot liquid brimming on my eyes. Although there was no one to be embarressed around, I pushed back the tears. After twelve years, it was time to start acting like a man. It had been so long...  
My thoughts were interrupted as I nearly collided with a man standing in front of me. Then I noticed it was Snape, who hardly qualified for being a man. For the millionth time that year, I chocked down the anger. He made my wolfsbane; it would not do to start a fight with him.  
He gave me a strange expression, followed by a trademark sneer. "Something wrong, Lupin?"  
I cursed myself. I should have gone straight to my quarters instead of wandering around, letting my emotions get the best of me. "No, Severus, just some...eh...allergies."   
He snickered at my obvious lie. "I'm sure."  
He disgusted me. The inconsiderate git. How could he, when I had done nothing to prevoke his anger in years?  
"Oh, of course," he said, his voice lowering, but not softening, "it's the thirty-first. Why, I had almost forgotten what day it is."  
"Halloween," I answered. "It's Halloween, and you would do well to forget anything else this day marks. Like it mattered to you, anyway," I added as I began to push past him. I so desperately wanted to say something about it mattering to him, because that was the night he had lost his master, but I opted against it. I had to at least try to be civil; that was all Dumbledore had asked of me. I was stopped when Peeves called to me from behind Snape.  
"Loony loony Lupin," he chanted.  
"What is it, Peeves?" I asked angrily.  
"Tush, you really should lower your voice, or I might just not give you the news," he teased.  
"Which is?"  
"Ask nicely," he said, floating about in circles.  
"Please tell us, Peeves," Snape requested.  
"That's the spirit." Peeves came down to our eye level. He seemed almost serious for a moment. "I've got some interesting news for you, Remus Lupin. It seems you and Mr. Potter both have a visitor to commemorate the holiday."  
"I don't know who you're talking about," I replied.  
"I think you'll find something of interest at the Griffyndor tower. An old friend of yours has come back, Lupin, to finish the job."  
An with that he flew away towards the aforementioned tower. Severus turned to me for an explaination, but I was off and running. Peeves had to be lying, there was no way, no possible way! And where was Harry?  
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I followed Peeves all the way to the tower, sprinting the entire way. I was surprised to find that Severus was on my heels. Minerva was approaching the group of Gryffindors huddled around the entrance. We three professors pushed past them to reach the front of the crowd.  
The Fat Lady was gone. It seemed as though she had disappeared, and taken most of the painting with her. Scraps of it were on the floor, some hanging off the canvas, a mess. Albus turned to meet us with a grave face. He stared deliberately into my eyes. I wondered what he meant to find there. Peeves was talking to him.  
"Nasty temper he's got, that Sirius Black."  
My first impulse was to snatch Harry up in my arms and carry him to the safest place I could (not realizing that the safest place I knew of was Hogwarts). It took me a moment to remember that he was thirteen, and that he wouldn't appreciate such protective measures. Then it occured to me that he hardly knew the truth about Sirius. He didn't need to know, either.  
It's hard to describe what I felt after that. I guess, in the pit of my stomach, I had known that something like this would happen ever since he had escaped. The shock of it, the thought of him being so close to me and Harry, sent my mind into a different mode. I saw his face before me, possibly laughing as he slashed apart the painting. So, he was meaning to kill Harry? Well, I was meaning to kill him.  
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Albus sighed as he sat down at his desk. The rest of the professors had gathered in his office to receive instructions.   
"We must waste no time," he began. "Sirius Black is in the school, and I have no doubt that he means to finish the job his master left undone. And Remus," he looked at me, "it would not hurt if you also took some precautions." He gave a weary smile. "Harry Potter is in the Great Hall with the rest of the students. After you complete your search, I would like you to fetch him and have him spend the night with you. We can not be too careful."  
"Of course, Headmaster." Another thought entered my mind, and I spoke it before he could continue. "But, is it really best to single him out? And assuming that your notion is right, and that...he...might be looking to kill me also, should Harry be staying with me?"   
Dumbledore gave me a look that reminded me of my days in his DADA class when I would challenge the material in the book. "Remus, you think faster than I do. Very well, he shall stay in the Great Hall. Now, I must ask you all to search the grounds thoroughly. The Dementors are not to be allowed inside. Who knows what they would do with all those frightened students."  
We broke apart, scurrying around the school in frantic patterns. On the occasion that I would cross paths with another professor, I would look up and shake my head. They in turn would cast their eyes to the ground and shake their's, and we would continue. The one exception was when I ran into Snape. I was creeping around a corner of the dungeons, which I have never been fond of creeping about it, when his sudden presence startled me.  
"Scared, Lupin?" he snickered.  
"No more than you should be," I replied.  
The crooked smile faded. "You're his old friend," he snapped, "you should know all his favorite hiding places. YOU figure out where he is." He slammed into my shoulder as he passed.  
Little did he know, that's what I'd been doing all night. I'd searched behind the one-eyed witch, under the Whoming Willow, under the floor boards in our old dorm room (which was now Harry's dorm room), and countless other places that we had used to our advantage as students. He was no where to be found. Except, I was not searching for a man. I was searching for a black, shaggy dog.  
Eventually, Dumbledore called off the search. I was in the Great Hall when he found me. I had stationed myself in front of a sleeping Harry, watching as he drew his breath in and out. I would have stayed there all night if Dumbledore had not sent me to my quarters. "You'll need your strength for next week," he said, referring to the full moon. I nodded and retreated.  
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My mind spun with unanswered questions as I slowly walked to my office. The past day seemed weeks ago. The wolfsbane, the feast, all were far off memories. I had never dealt with the fact that the Ministry had speculated I was next on his list after the Potters. The question flashed through my mind, one tally on a wall of countless marks of the times it had been asked:  
  
Why, Sirius?  
  
After all the promises you had made, after the years and years I had trusted you, James and Peter and Lily had trusted you, what could make you turn away from that? I thought that I was supposed to be the monster.   
The door to my office was unlocked. So was the door to my private quarters. It didn't surprise me; I was quite forgetful about simple things like that.  
I very much enjoyed my new home. It wasn't at all like the leaky, breezy shed of a house I had been staying in before I'd been given this job. It was decorated in light and dark blues, accented in white, with a red and gold bedroom (professors are supposed to be impartial, but no one has to know what color my bedroom was). My eyes flickered across the front room. A small picture of my sister on the end table, shelves of books, a dying fire.....  
  
Sirius Black, asleep on my couch. 


	5. Snape's POV

Disclaimer/Notes: I don't own the characters in this story. This chapter is Snape's POV.  
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Halloween wasn't such a bad holiday. It would have been better if the students left, but no, they stayed. The night would have been much improved if Dumbledore didn't insist on pulling people into his good cheer. His splendid mood had settled me back into a decidedly unsplendid one. I was stalking around the halls when I ran into Lupin. He had been avoiding conversation with almost everyone for most of the day. I was determinded to figure out what his mind was so preoccupied with.  
I have to admit, I was surprised to see that he looked ready to burst into tears when I stumbled upon him. I've never known him exceedingly well, but one of his traits is his inability to conceal his emotions. They always shined through crystal clear. Another person deep inside me might have felt sympathetic, I don't know; I stopped listening to that other person long ago.  
"Something wrong, Lupin?" I asked, not bothering to stop my hatred from coming through.  
He lied about it, said his allergies were acting up. I'd always thought he was a good liar. After all, he had plenty of practice when he lied daily about his affliction.  
That's when Peeves popped up. He was speaking cryptically to Lupin, something about a visitor. I never was able to keep my curiosity down, I barged into the conversation. Finally, Peeves said that the visitor for him and Mr. Potter (of course, everything has something to do with that brat) was at the Griffyndor tower. Something exploded next to me, and when I realized that Lupin had shot off like a dart towards the tower, I followed. There was something about this, something not right. All the Griffyndors were gathered around the entrance. Minerva, Lupin, and I pushed through the crowd.   
I was taken aback to see that the painting gaurding the entrance had been mauled. I didn't show it though; teachers should not act like anxiety filled adolescents. That was before I heard that name. "Nasty temper he's got, that Sirius Black." Any hope of keeping a stoic face was gone. All the hatred I'd felt for him over the years welled up and poured out in an instant. Like the other teachers, my eyes instantly turned to Harry Potter. I didn't seem to hate him as much. Knowing that he and Black were not on the same side almost, I say almost, made it feel like we were working together. It was not the same with Lupin. I didn't see any other way about how Black had gotten into the castle. It had to be Lupin. I looked out of the corner of my eye to catch his expression. He did not seem in the least bit shocked. Maye because he knew exactly what was going on. Maybe he had been planning on the whole thing.   
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We had been hearded into Dumbledore's office. He was telling Lupin to take extra precautions. I wondered why the scum would need to take precautions from his partner in crime. He told Lupin to take Harry with him that night. I silently chanted against it. It's not like I'd wish any harm on the boy, well, physical harm. I had no problem with trying to make his life miserable, but I wouldn't let him die. I was surprised when Lupin spoke against it. Why? Was Black planning some raid on the Great Hall? If Harry was staying with Lupin, wouldn't it just make it easier for him to finish the boy off? It occurred to me that maybe Lupin was in on the Potters' deaths so many years ago.... We were sent off on the search. I tried, for the millionth time, to tell Dumbledore that his appointment of Remus Lupin was a mistake. If Black was not in the building, the werewolf would certainly finish us off. There wasn't a doubt in my mind. I felt like a pawn in Balck's plan, a plan that had clearly been designed by Lupin.  
When I ran into Lupin in the dungeons, my hand was on my wand. Any hex would do, any body bind or mind twister, and I'd put the veritaserum into him and make him tell the truth. I didn't. I should have, but I didn't. Let the consequences be on his head. No one would listen to me. Why did Dumbledore trust the beast so much? Then again, why did the old fool trust me at all? And why, after all these years, did I still hate Lupin the same way I did in our school days? Time means nothing to hatred..... 


	6. Lupin's POV- The Meeting

Disclaimer/Notes: I don't own these characters. Lupin's POV.  
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I slowly approached the couch. I placed a hand on the back of it, not taking my eyes off the sleeping convict. He twitched in his sleep, expelled his breath forcefully, and rolled over onto his back. I raised my wand to his chest.   
*say it* I thought *it won't take that much, just say the words you've wanted to say for years*  
I remained prostrate, staring at him in numbed disbelief . His hair was ragged, his complexion was sickly, his body was malnurished. He was a shadow of what used to be my best friend.  
*avada kedavra avada kedavra just say it remus! just say it now!*  
He used to be my best friend. My best friend. He is my best friend. WAS! Was my best friend.....  
  
*please someone, god, merlin, anyone, give me the strength to say the words! avada kedavra avada kedavra say it now before he wakes up! let him die like this, peacefully, asleep, let him go to hell without knowing what hit him...avada...avada....*  
  
"Avada...avada..." I stammered. I took a deep breath. "Avada...."  
His eyes opened. He did not seem surprised to see me standing above him, nor was he shocked that there was a wand to his chest. I looked him in his hollow, deaded eyes.  
"Avada..."  
"Kedavra?" he offered.  
Just like him to make such a sick, morbid joke at this time. Before I knew what was going on, he had pulled the wand out of my hand and hidden it behind his back. He did not move from the couch. Suddenly, James's face flashed in front of me. Not his lively, smiling face, but the unnatural face he had worn in the coffin, the way I saw him at his wake. I leapt over the couch, onto Sirius, and put my hands around his throat. I pulled up my knees and put them onto his chest.  
"Dammit! Damn you, Sirius!" I yelled, tightening my grip. His eyes started to bulge as he clawed for air. "How could you do that to us, you bastard! How?! I hate you, you stinking sack of scum!" I slammed his head against the arm of the couch for emphasis. He managed to claw his overgrown fingernails into the back of my neck.  
"Listen....to....me," he hissed, gasping and struggling for air.   
In a desprate effort for survival, he rolled off the couch and ended up on top of me. One of his arms went behind him and he pulled my wand off the couch. Now it was his turn to hold the wand to my chest. My anger raged and although I knew he would kill me, I wasn't scared.  
"First James, then Peter, now it's my turn, eh, Padfoot?" I asked calmly.  
"I didn't kill James," he said. "Well, not technically," he added as an afterthought.  
"No, you had your master do it," I spat. He slapped me.  
"And I only wish I could kill Wormtail," he whispered, more to himself. "The thought of wanting to harm you, or Harry, well, that's absurd."  
He was lying to me. "You expect me to believe you, Sirius? I thought they were saying Azkaban hadn't unhinged you. I guess they were wrong."  
Something that resembled life flickered in his eyes. "Sit," he said, pointing to a chair.  
"No."  
"I told you sit down, Moony!" he growled.   
He stood up, releasing me from the ground. I dove into him, trying to tackle him again. He slapped me hard against the head. I hadn't expected him to be this strong, not against my wolf, and not being as malnurished as he was. I stumbled back, falling into a chair. He stood in front of me, my friend, my enemy. Tears were leaking out of his eyes.  
"I was hoping you'd understand, Remus," he said quietly.  
"Understand what? Why you would kill Lily and James? Why you'd want your own godson dead?!"   
"No. I was hoping you'd understand why I'm innocent," he said, deep emotion running out of him.  
I was taken back. He didn't actually expect me to understand this rubbish, did he?  
"You liar!" I yelled. I started to get out of the seat, but he raised the wand again and I sat back down.  
"Don't move, Moony," he said calmly. "I don't want to hex you, friend."  
"Friend?! After all these years?"  
"Yes, friend," he sighed. "I'm sorry you don't understand. But if you'd only listen to me. It was Peter's fault-"  
"Peter?" I burst into outrage. "How dare you blame Peter! How dare you even speak his name, you lying piece of -"  
"REMUS!" he bellowed. The power of his voice alone settled me back into the chair. "Why can you not listen to me?" His voice had the hint of a plea to it, a desperate begging. "After how many years of sleeping in the bed next to me, can't you spare thirty seconds to listen? How do you know I'm not innocent? I was never given a trial..."  
His words struck true. My cold permafrost of hatred started to melt and the truth of what I was feeling was shown to me. I didn't hate Sirius nearly as much as I thought I did. I was just terribly, terribly hurt.  
"I didn't use the `Avada Kedavra'," I said slowly, cautiously, "because I guess I don't really want you dead, Sirius." I looked up to see his reaction. He looked pleased beyond words.  
"That is a good thing to know, Moony," he croaked out. The tears started to slide down his face again.  
"But that doesn't mean I'm not very, very angry with you," I growled.   
"You wouldn't be if you knew the truth," he said, remorse and despair evident. "I spent twelve years in Azkaban knowing the truth. Don't make me do it for another moment."  
"I don't want to know your version of the truth!" I spat, climbing out of the chair. He raised the wand. "I'm not going to hurt you," I said apathetically.  
"And I have no intention of hurting you," he said, slowly lowering the wand.   
I decided to take my chances and turned my back to him as I entered my bedroom. I pulled an old, tattered bag out of the closet and carried it into the kitchen.  
"I'm sorry," Sirius said as I opened a cupboard, "I think I've depleted your food supply."  
"That's an understatement," I muttered as I pulled any remaining food out of the pantry. I shoved a box of crackers, some carrots, a sack of untouched Bertie Bott's Beans, and half a loaf of bread into the bag. "Don't over look the candy," I said as he sat down at my small, round kitchen table. "It's a quick supply of energy, if you need to run anywhere."  
My kitchen was now void of all food. I travelled to the bathroom and selected some more items for the bag: a comb, a tooth brush and tooth paste, a wash cloth, some bandages and antiseptic. From my closet, I pulled out a robe that was far too long for me. It might fit him, so it went into the bag with the rest. Going back into the kitchen, where Sirius still held my wand, I threw the bag onto the table.  
"What's this for?" he asked.  
"It's my final act of compassion towards you," I said. "And one in a long list of stupidity," I added.  
He looked genuinely surprised. "T-Thank you," his hoarse voice rasped.  
"Now get out," I said coldly.  
He started to rise from his seat when a voice boomed from the fire place.  
"Lupin!"  
We both froze. "It's Snape!" I whispered.  
"Snape? What the hell?" Sirius asked.  
"He's a teacher here. Potions."  
Sirius snorted.  
"Are you there, Lupin?" the cold voice demanded.  
"Y-Yes Severus, come right in," I called. "Hide!" I whispered to Sirius.  
"Where?" he asked frantically.  
"Anywhere!" I squeeked. "Here, here Padfoot, in the pantry!"  
I stuffed him into the now empty pantry, and slammed the door shut. I ran into the front room, where the fire place was, throwing one last look over my shoulder to make sure I could not see him through the slits in the door. I could not.  
Suddenly, Snape was in my living room. "I thought you should know," he started, with no form of a greeting, "that Albus said there will be no classes tomorrow. He asked me to tell you."  
"Oh, why, thank you, Severus," I said. My heart was pounding a mile a minute in fear. If Snape found Sirius here, I was done for. Not only would I surely loose my job, but Sirius would be given the dementor's kiss and I stood a good chance of going to Azkaban, also. No one would believe a werewolf.   
"Nervous about something?" Snape asked, his voice slick and sly.  
"No," I said. *no, he'll know you're lying. you're a crummy liar* I thought. "Yes, actually, I am," I changed my answer. I was going to have to give Snape more information than I wished to, but it was necessary to protect Sirius. *my god, why am i bothering to protect him? after all he's done....i'm protecting myself. yes, that's what it is* "I'm quite nervous about young Harry. I'd like to go check on him again, but Albus told me not to," I said, my voice quivering.   
Snape didn't seem to be in the least bit convinced. "You must be aware," he said, "that I don't trust you. At all."  
"Yes, I'm aware," my tone hardened at the offense.  
"Mind if I have a look around?" he asked.   
"Yes, but I have a feeling that my answer won't stop you," I said.  
"No, it won't," he answered honestly, beginning his search.  
I watched him closely as he picked through my quarters. He was checking every closet, in every corner. I was sure the pantry would not be over looked. He smirked at my gold and red bedroom.  
"Old loyalties never die," he said, looking under the bed.  
"Would you care to apply the same statement to yourself?" I asked.   
His head whipped around in surprise. "Of course not," I answered my own question. "Then it would be offensive. To say it to me, well, there's nothing wrong with that. To you, it would be an insult."  
Snape finished his inspection of my bedroom as I spoke. He strode into the kitchen. A sweat formed on my brow.  
"And what of your loyalty to Black?" he said, opening a cupboard under the sink.  
"It doesn't exsist," I said plainly.  
He was about to reply when he spotted the open bag on the kitchen table. I cursed myself.  
"Planning on going somewhere, Lupin?" he asked, burrowing his beady eyes into me.   
"Actually, yes. My sister Athene has been asking me to visit her for a while now. She lives in Greece. I was hoping to go tomorrow, since we don't have classes."  
"But you didn't know classes were cancelled until I got here," he said triumphantly.  
"I assumed they would be," I replied. "I'm not an idiot, Snape. Classes have been called off for lesser things."  
"Yes, well," he said, leaving the kitchen. Optimism started to creep into my mind. I silently urged him to leave. I wanted to verbally kick him out, but that would only make him more suspicious of me. "I hope you find your sister in good health."  
"Thank you," I said, following him to the fireplace.  
"Good night," he mumbled as he threw some floo powder into the air and disappeared, not giving me a chance to respond. I waited a moment and then slumped my shoulders in relief. I put out the fire before anyone else decided to pop in for a nighttime chat.  
"He's gone," I called.  
"Well, that inconsiderate snobbish git," Sirius said as he climbed out of the pantry.  
"I prefer him over you."  
"Then why didn't you turn me over to him?" Sirius asked.  
"Because then I'd be harboring a criminal," I replied. "I was saving my own skin, not yours."'  
Sirius stared at me thoughtfully. I looked down at the floor, but he did not break his gaze.  
"Stop it," I said. "I feel bad enough without you around. I want you to leave now, and I don't want you coming back."  
I threw the bag at him. My wand was lying on the table.  
"Thank you, Remus," he said. "But if you'd only listen-"  
"NO!" I shouted. "I will not listen to you! You are a liar, and no friend of mine. Get out before I kill you." I picked my wand up off the table.  
"What a strange person you've become," he said, nearly amused. "First you try to kill me, then you say you don't want me dead, then you protect me, and now you want to kill me again. It's almost worth sticking around just to see what's going to happen next."  
"No, it is not," I said, accenting every word. "Get out of here, Sirius, and don't let me catch you in Hogwarts again."  
He reached out to touch my arm, but I drew back. He shook his head and chuckled. "You're going to feel very foolish once you learn the truth."  
He walked to the door. "Would you mind putting an invisibility charm on me?"  
"I will," I said, "but first, let me look you in the eye when I say what I'm going to say." He nodded and waited. "You so much as touch one hair on James's son's head, and I will personally hunt you down and put you through more agony than you could have imagined in Azkaban. Do you understand me?"  
A wide, vacant look spread over him. "Not only do I understand you, but I agree with you."  
"Good," I said, and performed the charm. "It'll wear off in fifteen minutes, so I suggest you run."  
"No need telling twice," he said, and I saw the door open. "I'll be watching, Remus." The door shut, and I performed a charm on myself that let me see whether he had truly left or not. He had.  
I undressed and threw myself into bed. I knew that I wanted to weep. The past had come back to life again tonight, with the memories of James and Lily, and now with that murderer on the loose, no thanks to me. I could have stopped him; in all truth, I should have stopped him. But I didn't. If he killed anyone else, it would be my own fault. I had sealed Harry's death sentence. I really was a monster to be feared.  
Why had I done it? I had envisioned killing him a million times, why did I let him slip away? After all these years, I still could not believe he had betrayed James, a man more like a brother than a friend. That's what the four of us were. We were brothers, and nothing less than that. Time means nothing to brotherhood...... 


	7. Sirius's POV Once More

Disclaimer/Notes: I don't own these characters. Sirius's POV.  
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I was running down the halls and paths. Fifteen minutes. He sure wasn't giving me any time to linger. Luckily, I knew short cuts.   
I skidded to a halt in front of the Great Hall. I consulted a big, official looking clock that had been standing in that hallway even when I was a student. I had eight minutes left. Plenty of time.  
I slid past the sleepy prefects and wandered among the rows of students. I saw a flash of light in the corner that bounced off his glasses. He hadn't even bothered to remove them.  
I slowly weaved around the students, not taking my eyes off Harry. He looked so much like James...so much...  
I reached down and just barely touched the wild, untamed hair. He breathed deeply in his sleep.   
*have good dreams, harry* I thought. *and don't let them push you around, son. i'll be watching you*  
I forced myself to pull away. I wanted to kidnap him, take him with me, make him listen to my story, but I knew I couldn't. He'd scream in fright, wake up the whole school, and then I didn't stand a chance. And I'd get Remus in trouble. I walked away, not noticing the rat that I came a few centimeters from stepping on.  
Why had Remus done it? Why would he risk his job, and his life, for me, a man he hated? I had gotten lucky; our brotherhood was just strong enough to hold out. Although this night had not gone at all like I'd planned, I felt better nonetheless. Remus didn't want me dead (no matter what he said), and Wormtail could be sure that I was not going to give up my mission for his death.  
I passed through the gates of Hogwarts, avoiding the dementors the best I could. It was a near miracle they didn't sense me. It would have been safer to turn into a dog, but I was carrying the bag.  
And so I set off towards the Shrieking Shack, where I would be spending the night. Alone. A feared murderer. An outcast of society. The scum of the earth. Alone. Nothing had changed in the past twelve years. Time means nothing to pain. 


	8. Lupin's POV - The Epilogue

Disclaimer/Notes: I don't own these characters. Lupin's POV.  
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It is indeed interesting what happens when you put all your emotions off to the end of the day. For months after our meeting on Halloween, I would sit in front of my fireplace at night and think until my head was sore.   
The Christmas holidays had passed, the Quidditch matches were heating up, and still no sign of Sirius Black. In one way, I was happy he hadn't returned. Perhaps he had listened to me. Perhaps he had died in a cave somewhere, overcame by disease or starvation. However, that seemed unlikely when one considered the strength of his will. If he had kept himself alive and sane for twelves years in Azkaban, a few months in the wilderness were not going to scathe him.  
In another way, his lack of presence disturbed me. I spent many nights in the months following his invasion pondering what he meant when he said I didn't know the truth. The truth was that Sirius had sold Lily and James to Voldemort, and when his master had been cut down by little Harry, he had gone to a marketplace, one that was on the way to my home, and killed Peter. That was the truth. Still, something about it poked unevenly in the corners of my mind. The years had done its best to smooth the theory round, but jagged pieces still stuck out, irritating and molesting my thoughts. I would have to forget them.  
Some nights the theory poked worse than others. One of those nights had been after a particularly exciting Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. I had sat up for hours that night, wondering where Sirius was, what he was thinking. I clutched a picture in my hand, one that I often turned to in times of confusion. In the picture, James was grinning like a madman, with me in a headlock. Sirius had a hand on James's shoulder and an arm around Lily's waist. Peter stood off to the side, looking strangely out of place among his friends. This picture made me wonder where it all went wrong. I fell asleep that night on the couch where I had nearly killed Sirius, the picture found its way to a coffee table at my side.  
  
A pounding at my door woke me three hours later.  
"LUPIN! LUPIN, WAKE UP!"  
It was Snape. I cursed as I rolled off the couch to open the door, but found that he was already in my quarters. Not only him, but McGonnagal and Dumbledore as well.  
"What? What it is?" I asked, trying to push the sleep away from my head.  
"It seems your old friend has come back for another visit!" Snape spat at me. "He succeeded in entering the Gryffindor tower this time, and nearly killed Ron Weasley!"  
"R-Ron Weasley?" I was shocked. "Are you sure? Ron?"  
"Yes, I'm afraid so, Remus," Dumbledore said, his voice heavy and full of sorrow.  
"Was anyone hurt?" I asked.  
"No, thankfully, but the children are quite distressed, as you can imagine," Dumbledore explained. He told me the story of how Black had managed to get the week's worth of passwords and how he had fled the minute Ron woke up.  
"I don't understand," I said, pacing the room. The three professors had seated themselves. "I imagine it was an accident that he stumbled upon Mr. Weasley. He must have been aiming for Harry....but why didn't he just kill Ron?"  
"You'd understand his mind more than the rest of us, why don't you answer the question yourself?" Snape said, his face livid with fury.  
I felt miserable. I pondered for a moment whether I should tell Dumbledore about Sirius's visit last Halloween, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I felt like a coward.  
"Severus, I'd imagine Professor Lupin is as shocked by these events as we are!" Minerva said, obviously trying to repremand a colleague as much as good taste would allow.  
"True, true," I muttered as I paced the floor. "Wasn't the castle searched?"   
"Yes, Remus. I hope you will forgive me for not waking you," Dumbledore said.  
I stood frozen to the spot. My eyes rested on Dumbledore for a moment and then turned to Snape. He let a smug expression roll over his face. I licked my lips and turned back to Dumbledore.  
"Headmaster, are you telling me...that...I'm not trustworthy enough to look for Black? I have no alliance with him!"  
The old wizard put up a hand to silence me. "Remus, Remus, that isn't it at all. I was hoping that Black would come to your quarters, and if you were here, you would be able to intercept him."  
There was a wild moment in my mind where I wondered if Dumbledore knew about how I had helped him on Halloween. I concluded that he didn't.  
"Apparently," he continued, "my plan did not work the way I hoped."  
"How do you mean?" I asked.  
Dumbledore reached out with his long arm and grasped the picture on the coffee table. He paused for a moment, holding the picture up for the other three of us to see. The firmiliar image of me and my one-time friends smiled back. He flipped the picture over. Something was scribbled in red ink on the back. It took me a moment to make it out.  
  
"i'm no murderer. please believe me, moony. and watch out for rats in the castle."  
  
I stumbled backward, landing on the couch.   
"Am I correct in assuming that this is Black's work?" Dumbledore asked. He fingered the ink; it was still wet  
"Yes," I said shakily. "I-I....I didn't know! I had no idea he was here!" I slammed my fist into the couch and started to pace the room again. Dumbledore stood up and intercepted me. I put my head in my hands in an attempt to hide my anguish.  
"None of us are blaming you," he said gently. His eyes flickered for a moment to Severus. "I know that you are famous for sleeping like a log." He gave a small chuckle and patted me on the shoulder. He summoned the other two professors and strode towards the door. "The castle has been searched; Black is no where on the grounds. If you can sleep, be assured that you will do so safely."  
"I'm not concerned about myself. What about the children?"  
"The children are scared, but they are unharmed. I sent them back to bed half an hour ago. Mr. Potter is safe in the company of his friends."  
My eyes flew downward in embarressment that Dumbledore knew my question was so obviously about Harry. "Yes, Headmaster."  
"I will be in my office tonight, if you need anything," he said. Professor McGonnagal wished me a good night and they left.  
I once again settled down on the couch, picture in hand. Such an obvious reference to Peter, but why? What was he trying to prove? The edges of my mishapen theory once again scraped my mind. All these years, and I knew only one thing more than I had the day after James's and Lily had died. Now I knew that this puzzle would not be solved by time. Time meant absolutely nothing.......  
  
*******THE END******* 


End file.
